A bit about me :)

Hey

So here’s a little more about me, I’ve had a bit of a messy up bringing what with being passed from pillar to post with my mum having her own business and my dad being made redundant just before I was born there was much choice but for my auntie to bring me up, this only brought me closer to her and I used to call her my mum at a young age. My life was just like any other child’s growing up full of fun and games and all that as you need a kid. When I reached my teens I hit a bit of a rocky patch in my life I rebelled against pretty much everything I knew and became a girl I never thought I would be.

 

At 13 I was diagnosed with depression and was sent to a councillor I had this for about 2- 3 years never really helped me if I’m honest at 14 I made the decisions I was going to leave school and become home educated just to try and get my self back on track, this started to work until the following year in the October (by this point I was 15) my world was turned upside down when I found out that my auntie had been diagnosed with cancer, while standing by her bedside at the age of 15 and hearing the words flow out of the consultants mouth was the most heart breaking moment of my life its like the world had stopped. The first thing I said was shes going to be alright though isn’t she. To which I got the reply we can try and cure it but there success rate is very low (my auntie had been treated for it 20 years before) I looked at my auntie and said we can fight this can’t we, we can do this. The words I remember so clear. And her reply was I can’t go through all that again what’s the chances it will work and the doctor answers with its too far gone to cure we can just give you more time.

I sat at her bedside with my head on her hand and I remember her saying, you’ve grown so well my butterfly its time you fly alone. With that I knew there was only one road she wanted to take, so I picked myself up knowing that this was a hard decision to make without me sat cryong my eyes out. Her only wish was to die at home so we got the wheels in motion to grant her that one wish. A few days later she arrived home. The hospital gave her 2 weeks to live from the day she left the hospital id given up my studying to be a full time carer for her, I was by her side day and night she lasted 8 weeks at home in total and I still remember the day she left us. The heart ache that filled the room a room all of us family had joined in to say goodbye. On the 15^th of December 2008 my world changed forever.

 

For the next few months maybe even a year my depression had me at rock bottom I was lost and confussed and didn’t know which way was up. After a while I convinced myself that she wouldn’t want me moping around she would want me happy o started hanging out with my friends again and working as a part time make up model. This was only to really pass time. I ended up getting my amazing puppy Mia in the September 2010 to give my focus and love through that year I built up the courage to get myself a full time job which im still at now.

I’ve worked now at a dental surgery for 2 years in October and I’ve faced my own challenges along the way its been a hard 2 years but I’ve really enjoyed it and in February this year I went back to college to get myself a diploma in the job I am doing. The college work is hard but having left school and getting no qualifications I thought it was about time I pulled my finger out and made something of myself. i have until chirstmas until i qualify but im feeling hopeful that i will.

 

so guys this was a little bit of an emotional post but i wanted to share a few things with you

hope yout all ok

Kirstie-x

My Life In 4x4 Racing.

So I’ve been going 4x4 racing since i was 4 weeks old my mum and dad met through it and my granddad was around when the club i race with started so that’s how my mum got into it. So were talking a good 30+ years.

It’s always been a hobby of mine that I’ve enjoyed and looked forward to every month from a young age and have made some amazing friends through the years.

I’ve been co-driving myself now for 4 years and it’s the most amazing feeling when your sat on that start line on your first lap of the event and you’re unsure of what that lap and the day will bring what obstacles you will come across and what positions you may find yourself in out on the course.

Sat on the start line with the timing lights changing from red to the countdown of 5 seconds to the moment that light turns green i have the most amazing feeling and emotions the feeling of butterflies flying through my stomach with the feeling of what if something happens to the hell yeah let’s do this. Is the most mix feeling I’ve ever had?

It’s never really hit me to the thought what would happen if something serious was to happen to me doing a sport i love.

I’ve been doing this sport now all of my life and have seen a few life changing things and even a death which did have me stop and think for a bit but at the end of the day if you don’t live your life to the full you will always have the question of what if? In your mind and to be perfectly honest i would much rather die doing something i loved then sat on the sofa depressed all my life.

Racing to me is my escape from the day to day life. i live an extremely busy life and racing is my get away i can be who i am and have fun, for the 5 and half hours of racing i can focus on something a little less important as to the daily life commitments.

i have to admit i do get red mist at times and i think to myself Kirstie it’s just a sport it’s a hobby you enjoy this don’t let anyone stop you having fun.

in the 20 years I’ve been around a lot has changed in the way of racing and I’ve raced in a few different cars and I’ve enjoyed every single one of them but i must say the car i race now has to be my favourite but is and expensive baby to have as a play toy